Most kids known to have Down syndrome in their mother’s womb don’t make it out alive. I’m thankful ours did.
The third Sunday of January is National Sanctity of Human Life Day and since that happens to be today I thought I’d share a few things that constantly weigh heavy on my heart.
A Reminder Of Brokenness
This website and our other social media channels have a wide reach and we regularly receive messages from people all over the world. Most of these messages are overwhelmingly positive and give us great encouragement. But every once in a while we receive a message that reminds us that our world is deeply broken and in desperate need of repair it. Here’s an example of one of those messages that we received just yesterday:
I wouldn’t want the burden of having a child with Down Syndrome. I would have terminated the pregnancy.
Sadly, this isn’t just the opinion of the person who sent me this message. In fact, 92% of children with Down syndrome are aborted (yes, 92%!) This means every time you see one Noah (my son) there’s 9 Noah’s you don’t see as a result of people not wanting the burden.
In other words, if you’re a baby with Down syndrome, your mothers womb is a very dangerous place for you.
And it breaks my heart.
“Get me out of here QUICK!’ – Every kid with Down Syndrome, ever.
My Son Wants To Ride A Dinosaur…Not Become One.
“Yo, we don’t want to be extinct. We sort of like living.”
My friend Gabe Lyons notes, “people with Down syndrome have been targeted for extinction.” Our culture has become obsessed with making it easier and easier to detect if a child has Down syndrome in the womb so parents can murder their child make an informed decision.
I couldn’t begin to count the number of stories I’ve heard from parents of children with Down syndrome about how their OB/GYN”s repeatedly tried to get them to make an even more informed decision after telling them they planned on bringing their child to full term. In fact, one dad told me he was so upset by the repeated pressure of their OB/GYN to abort their child he told him if he suggested they abort their child one more time he was going to hit him! This is why I highly recommend every OB/GYN / Pediatrician in the world read our letter on how to correctly deliver a Down Syndrome diagnosis.
Even after a child’s birth this discrimination and blatant disregard for human life continues. In Noah’s birth story we shared how our OB’s first words to us were,
I’m so sorry.
followed by,
I’m going to prescribe you some antidepressants.
to which we politely declined. 
Our culture reminds me almost every day that it’s on a mission to exterminate everyone who they deem a burden, or less than worthy of life.
So What Do We Do?
I don’t have all of the answers. In fact, I have no answers. But I have a few ideas…..
1. Pray
Every since man first decided to trust their way over God’s our world has been going down hill. The Bible is clear that our world isn’t getting better, in fact quite the opposite. There are some problems that are so big that our best efforts to change them will never be enough.
The good news that we have access to The One who created the world and all that’s in it. When we reach the end of our gifts, talents, abilities, and creativity that’s where the true power begins.
In other words…
Prayer changes things. We should pray often for God to protect these little children in the womb, and that He would change the hearts of our culture to view all people as worthy of life, and recognize that all people are created in the image of God (in the womb or out….Down syndrome or no Down syndrome.)
2. Be Kind
Mean people rarely change the world (for the better.) Enough said.
3. Tell Your Story
If a tree falls in the woods…..
Stories have power….but only if they’re shared. The internet is a powerful place, and these days we all have access to a global audience. If you have a child with Down syndrome (or other special need) find a way to tell your story. You are your child’s biggest advocate. You have to find a way to help the world understand that your child has more in common with a typical child than people think.
Start a blog. A Facebook page, twitter account, heck, even an Pinterest page. Call up your local college and offer to come speak to a class about your family’s story. The possibilities are endless and every family had a different way of telling their story.
Different is ok. Being silent isn’t. So share your story…as often as you can. Here’s 14 ideas to get your started.
Oh, and just in case you think God doesn’t use stories to change lives, here’s a quote from another message I recently received:
“I just got the phone call last night that my blood work was abnormal and my child may possibly have Down’s Syndrome. After the initial shock and confusion I buried myself in research looking for more info and a better perspective on what this could possibly mean. While my first thought was to abort if DS was confirmed all that has changed thanks to your story and others like yours.”
That little kid’s life is forever changed. All because of a story. Look for ways to share yours today.
5. Constantly Reflect On Your Own “Burden-ness.”
Never forget that you were once someone’s ‘burden’ (who knows, maybe you still are!) 
Let’s be honest for a second, all of our lives are train wrecks in some way. We all have flaws. Issues. Hang ups. We’ve all caused our parents headaches and heartaches at some point in our life.
People aren’t burdens. People are gifts from God. Created in His image for a purpose. Every. single. person. on. this. planet…..in the womb, or out. Let me say it again, this time read it slowly.
Every person on this plant is a gift from God, created in His image for a great purpose.
Only 1 out of 10 kids with Down syndrome make it out of their mother’s womb alive which make a mother’s womb a very dangerous place for a baby with Down syndrome. Thankfully our son was one of the lucky ones. So was Cade. And Seth. And Julian. And Ellie. And all of these kids. And these.
My great prayer is that God will change the hearts of our culture. That our culture will come to understand the value of human life (even little bitty lives.) That more children like my son will be brought to full term. That we will stop aborting children in the womb for any reason…especially simply because they have an extra 21st chromosome.
1 out of 10 is pretty bad odds, but thankfully God likes bad odds.
In God I trust,
Rick (Noah’s Dad)
About Rick Smith
I do remember & I mentioned it before, sitting with two friends and the topic of what we would do if we had a challenged child came up. I was the only one who wouldn’t terminate. I was shocked really. I have a little boy who has a serious disability. Its not visible but as I read you say, you fall in love with your baby.
We were in Iran and you could get as many ultrasounds as you wanted. They were like $10 each. My husband would say Heleeen, let’s go visit Taher…and there I would be drinking fluids and getting goo all over my tummy…just to see bug-a-boo.
I was dying for him to be born…not just so he would stop finding new and more hideous places to kick me, but I wanted to hold him and tell him each day he owes me 999 kisses..like I do.
Its all about societal “norms” . All through our history individuals follow the current trend like ..well sheep. They follow the leader. When my Grandfather was young, it was trendy for women to be chunky. Chunky meant you were healthy. It was trendy to be modest too.
Now everyone runs around half naked and the ideal girl is not Miss piggy but Miss twiggy. My Mom was the one who taught me not to follow. She said not to let anyone push me into following something I feel is wrong. Sometimes that can be really lonely but she also said sometimes being alone is better.
We need more people like you to lead the followers away from the trend that causes them to make bad choices. I am always happy and inspired by seeing you both with Noah and your honesty and bravery are commendable.
I have a son that was born with Spina Bifida. I had a miscarriage after him and then became pregnant again it was a high risk pregnancy i had gone into early labor at 4 months. The OB insisted that he had to do a very dangerous procedure amniocentesis to see about birth defects i told the Dr. It didn’t not matter i would not terminate my pregnancy he told me i wa being irresponsible. We argued he said he would withhold tx i had the test but told him i didn’t want to be told results he said they were doing it for there knowledge of how to treat me. He was born full term. My son with Spina Bifida has undergone 38 sugeries he is 27 married and works in a trauma center healing others ALL LIVES MATTER. THANK YOU FOR WHAT YOU ARE DOING I HAVE FOLLOWED NOAH’S JOURNEY FOR A VERY LONG TIME!
I’ve known very few people who have Down Syndrome, and I think a big reason why is because I was born at a time that prenatal screening was common. My mum had me when she was nearly 35. She often tells the story of how the doctors encouraged her to have amniocentesis because if the baby had Down Syndrome she “may as well have an abortion”. My parents refused the testing because of the risk of miscarriage and because they knew they’d never abort me. The fact that the doctors preemptively encouraged an older mother to abort a potentially “defective” child is a telling and worrying indictment on Western society. As it happened, although my parents would never abort, the doctors had sufficiently scared my mother into thinking that I would have Down Syndrome that when I was born with a protruding tongue she thought I did have Down Syndrome. I don’t.
Despite my siblings and me growing up with this story, I remember an occasion when I was talking to my brother shortly after his first child was born, about how he and his partner had chosen to have amniocentesis. I asked him what they would have done if his daughter had had Down Syndrome and he said “who would want to bring that into the world?”. My brother has been humbled, however, by this first child of his, who was found to have an intellectual disability and other special needs. I wonder if we would have my wonderful niece here if they had known.
I’ve been following Noah’s story for some time now, and it’s obvious how much of a blessing this little boy is. If only there were more Noahs running around.
I respect any mother who has to make a choice. I know that for some choosing to bring your child to full term is the right choice, but for others it is not. Having a child with Down Syndrome is not the normal 20 year commitment of raising a child. A forty year old woman who finds herself carrying a DS child has to think about the next 50 years. And then what happens when the parents die and the child is left behind? I cannot judge any parents for their very personal and private choice.
I was 39 when I had Gracie, a child with downs, and i’m thankful that when i’m gone she has two big brothers and a big sister that will take care of her! I also wanted to terminate when I found out she had DS. I cried to the Dr and screamed that I didn’t want this monster inside me but because of my christian upbringing (THANK THE LORD) I didn’t. I was the monster for thinking such a thing! Now I have my Gracie who is now 5yrs old and is a blessing. I respect peoples decisions too, but not if it’s just because they have downs. They are, after all, human beings. Not monsters!
Hearing the lie “personal and private” has resulted in our holocaust [abortion] sadly being accepted as truth by much of the world. The lie pervades the reality of tough choices where a “lesser” life stands in the way of another person. The lie will continue to spread as the difficulty of one person’s life has a negative effect upon his/her caregiver. So, suicide is accepted as personal and private – old age is accepted as justifying elimination of a person – paralysis is another reason to end someone’s life and on and on. The truth will not change nowever. We support oives that God creates and He alone decides the lifespan of all.
I have Turners Syndrome. I was once asked by a friend if my mother had known I had Turner Syndrome would she have elected to abort me. She said NO way! I was her gift from God!
When I was pregnant with my son, it was a high risk pregnancy. I was 41 when I got pregnant and 42 when I had him. While I was pregnant one of my 20 week ultrasound revealed Luke to have fluid on his brain. Possible hydrocephalus. I was given that horrible new in Charlotte at a fetal specialist. He told me I should terminate the pregnancy. He said my baby could be born with hydrocephalus and chromosomal abnormalities along with other things including down syndrome. I smiled in this man’s face when all I wanted to do was break down and cry. I felt like I had failed my child somehow. At the end of our visit I told the doctor “If I have a child with DS, that would be awesome!” We left and I cried. Like I said I thought I failed my baby somehow. Each appointment after was never anything with fabulous news. I kept my faith and declined any lab work or procedure they offered to allow me to know if my child had a chromosomal abnormality in addition to the hydrocephalus. See, to me it would have never mattered. I would have loved my child the same and would have still WANTED him. As the week’s went on I prayed and kept my faith. I asked for healing of my sons brain. And you know what? In time it slowly happened. One tenth at a time. But u took that one tenth and praised Jesus. After a long hard, high risk pregnancy, I had my Luke. The c-section had its possible hemorrhaging moments BUT when the doctor pulled my miracle out, he was perfect! No hydrocephalus! That afternoon when I was able to hold my son and he opened his eyes, I knew he had DS. It was a surprise! A surprise that made my heart melt. I felt like I just won the lotto on top of having this little 7 pound 2 ounce boy. He was perfect! You see, Jesus makes NO mistakes. He blessed me with my amazing little peanut. When I tell someone that my baby has DS they say they are sorry. Sorry? Seriously? Don’t feel sorry for me or him for that matter. Jesus made my baby perfect. If I would have listened to that so called specialist, I wouldn’t have had this miracle perfect little boy. Here is a picture of my Luke. He was born July 22,2016
Luke is ADORABLE! You are to be commended for holding fast to your Biblical convictions that God doesn’t make mistakes, and Down Syndrome is not a cancer to be cut out and thrown away! Twenty-five years ago when the oldest two of our four children were in their mid-teens, an opportunity to adopt a DS baby was made known to us. I was excited about the possibility, for from the time I was 7, I had a soft place in my heart for these special people. I began to do my homework so I could be prepared, and understand what was involved in raising a DS child, from health issues to personality differences. After that, I contacted moms of DS children to make appointments for visiting with them and discussing the challenges as well as the blessings involved with raising these special gifts from God. But following submission of our application, we experienced the providence of God creating changes in our family which took us in another direction. Health, finances, and a major move to another area were clear indications that God had other intentions for us and the “yet to be born baby girl” with DS. In retrospect, it was evident that I would have been unable to care for the precious child, as much as I wanted to. I had to face my own medical problems in the years to follow, and that would be about all I could handle with the help of my older children. I have reached my senior years, now; my four kids are grown, and we now have 8 grandchildren split between the Pacific and Atlantic Coasts. For more than ten years, we were very involved with Home Schooling ministries in both California and Arizona, and, for a year, produced a 36-page monthly newsletter which was distributed to over 600 homeschool families. God has used our family in very different ways than I could have ever imagined some 25 years ago! No, I will not be raising any sweet-natured DS children of my own, but I will continue to be a dedicated cheerleader for those like you, who do!
Well I can….. BECAUSE… I AM THAT MOM! Psalm 139 tells me he was PURPOSEFULLY planned and WONDERFULLY made. And he was… And is…. And guess what. He also has autism… We have never regretted or questioned his life. I’m now 64 and have battled two kinds of stage three cancers! Hard as it’s been at times I would repeat his life in a HEARTBEAT! You see this life isn’t ALL ABOUT ME. This precious charge has taught the world to sing by his unconditional love. He’s also gifted his Father and I with becoming better people… We have not spent the last 24 years asking the “why me” question! Why not us? Why not you? Probably because these children are blessed to families. In hopes that they will embrace the value of human life…. Every human life! Watch the new show… “Born this way” lives storms does not make the world a bad place to exists…it merely causes us to more fully embrace the rainbows. We’ve had the delight in raising 3 typically developed children prior to our Son Nate… He has blessed us with EQUAL joy.
He is our Heartbeat. I’m sorry for all those dear human beings that someone else deemed less desirable to function in a wonderful and mysterious world. I am sorry for that families choice to take away the right for a most special worthy birth to happen! They cheated themselves of a very rewarding life experience!
Pro choice? How can you honestly know when you have no way of foreseeing how this life YOU made possible by the sharing of your body… Isn’t a blessing beyond measure!
I just updated my blog with an entry about prenatal screening. I’d really like to see more balanced views of people with Down Syndrome by doctors and genetic counsellors, and also it’s important for the parents to speak up, so people can see that they aren’t headed for a life of misery if they choose to keep a baby with a disability. http://babyfight.alwaysmad.com/?p=172
Oh how I love this post! Thank you for speaking out–especially since you have quite an audience! I, too, want to share about little one, and do everyday in person in real life. Still want to reach others–so many of them out there–so many people unaware. Thanks for the encouragement to do so!
Shocking. Truly appalling. Having a special needs child is such a gift and it’s beyond belief that people don’t recognize it. The same horrible thing is happening to children with cleft lips & club feet.
Very sad indeed. Our hope is that our site will help give people hope and encouragement, and in turn bring more babies to full term. We should keep praying for protections for the unborn.
After reading about the potential ‘cure’ for Down’s today, I decided to read as much about it as I could. This is a great post and I’ve learned a lot about Down’s from your blog today. I have no children, but was recently pregnant (miscarriage @ 10 weeks). Early on, my OB offered prenatal testing and since I’m low-risk for most issues, I declined. I don’t like unnecessary medical intervention, especially if nothing much can be done to help a fetus in utero. Anyway, I just wanted to bring up that I think your statistics may be incorrect because taking into account people like me who do not get genetic testing, the number has to decrease the percentage from 92%. I would not know until much further along (probably 29-30 week sonogram) if I were carrying a child with Down’s.
The 92% statistic is misleading – it only reflects women carrying a fetus with a confirmed diagnosis of Down syndrome. Up until a year or two ago, that meant that it really only included women who had undergone amniocentesis or CVS, both of which carry a substantial risk of miscarriage and both of which women frequently opt to undergo if they know there is a possibility that they might choose to terminate if the results are positive. So the 92% number is self-selecting and doesn’t give you any sort of idea of what percentage of fetuses with an extra copy of chromosome 21 are actually born. We’ll have a better idea of those numbers once NIPT becomes more prevalent, as it can detect DS much earlier and with no physical risk to the pregnancy. In the mean time, the big problem is not the legality of abortion but the invisibility of families affected by Down syndrome in the mainstream. I think it’s safe to say that most people do not know somebody with Down syndrome. Let’s change that.
Wow, what a great website this is! This website has given my husband and I so much hope and excitement for the future. I’m 20 weeks pregnant with my first baby and was already a high risk pregnancy because of my type 1 diabetes. Two weeks ago on one of the ultrasounds the doctor saw choroid plexus cysts on our little boys brain. She told us that this could be a soft marker for Downs. We had advoided genetic testing, but then decided to get a newer blood test done that test the fetal blood within my blood and is 99% accurate. One week later, the test results came back positive for downs syndrome. We were in shock and numb, all kinds of emotions going through our heads. It took us a couple weeks to settle down after that big news. We are Christians and we know God has big plans for us even though we may not understand them right now. I have done tons of research on downs but this website has helped the most, your story is truly inspiring. I can’t wait to meet our gift from God, Samuel. Thanks so much for making this website available
Love your post! I know the statistics are sad, but I love your encouragement to tell our stories so people will know the truth about living with Down Syndrome. My granddaughter is 19 months old and has DS. She is an incredible blessing and I wouldn’t choose to have her any other way.
Awesome! You sound like an awesome grandmother! 🙂
I know all to well what you mean, I found out very early 2 months and 3 weeks in that the baby had a cystic hygroma sorry wrong spelling all the drs begged for was testing and termination! They would make me come in 2 time a week to tell me what a judge mistake I was making and to shedule a termination and that the baby would die a horrid death after he was born and save him from that! Needless to say I told my docs off and left it in gods hands and was rewarded with the most smart beautiful little boy! Yes he happens to have Down syndrome but that doesn’t define him as a person! He is one of the greatest gifts I’m so glad I didn’t let the drs brain wash me! That’s what it seemed like! I’m so greatful I had my boy! Thank you! For sharing and I hope that people don’t make the mistake of terminating the greatest gift you will ever have!
Sorry If I misspell or something… not an English speaker!
Just wanna share I have a 28 y/o brother with Down Syndrome. We share and spend time regularly, we text each other daily (mostly emoticons and videos) and talk almost daily. Our relationship has made me who I am. I am a doctor and every single time I receive positive feedback from peers or patients regarding rapport with patients, compassion or positive speech, I use that opportunity to tell them how much I learn from my brother. He is such a big, bold, beautiful influence. I have learned to enjoy life, to be strong and positive, to be infinitely loving and to have the grace of overcoming challenges in life with hard work & a smile. Thanks for sharing Noah’s life with all of us.
I love seeing pictures and reading your post. I found your page through a friends page. I have a little boy, he is 2, and I’m completely in love with him. He does not have Down’s syndrome but I became fascinated with stories about families who do because this year I’ve had the pleasure of teaching a co-taught kindergarten class. 2 of my students have Down’s syndrome. This was a first for me, but I have fallen in love with these 2 children… So much so that I begged for the co taught class again next year so that I could have 1 of them again. He has changed my entire teaching world! His particular diagnosis is mosaic Down’s syndrome. He is so precious. In fact when his mom tells us stories about his mischief, I jokingly (but not really) tell her I’ll take him home with me! I can not begin to explain what this child has taught me this year, I’m certain that this year was my best year ever- thanks to Owen, who has taught me so much about how fun life can really be! I enjoy reading your posts and seeing pictures!
Thank you for raising awareness with this post. I’m not so sure that education and awareness or really anything will do much to change our culture of “disposable life” and our quest for “picture perfect”. I had a “friend” who was highly educated, along with her husband. Both of them being medical professionals, financially secure, great health insurance etc. They knew my daughter, who has Down syndrome and always “acted” loving and accepting…. Until their own future son was diagnosed with Down syndrome. They made the decision to terminate, even knowing my daughter. They cut off all contact with our family and I only hear of them through mutual friends. I just cannot wrap my head around it. At first I was extremely hurt, upset and discouraged but now I just feel sorry for their ignorance and loss.
They went on to have another “typical” son who they baptized in the Catholic church (they are supposedly devout Catholics). I just don’t understand this at all. I know this story isn’t unique but I can’t help but blame myself for not being able to change their minds. I’ve always been very open about my daughter, our challenges but also my love and thankfulness for her. I still want to cry when I think about what they did, even though it has been two years now. I would have taken their baby. A lot of people would have. They never even gave him a chance, just replaced him with one that was “pretested” and “suitable” to them:( And the most hurtful thing of all is they did this all with knowledge.
These parents KNEW my daughter and still thought that a baby like her would be better off dead. It breaks my heart every time I think of it.
I’m so sorry for the pain your friends actions caused you. This world is so broken and backwards, I’m thankful you love your daughter and are a beacon of truth. God bless and keep your family.
I was very blessed by my last OB/GYN who asked me if i wanted an amnio due to my age and when I responded with a neutral answer he stated “would you do anything if it came back positive?” To which I responded “no” and he said then i had my answer! He never mentioned it again and it was so nice! Life is as God allows! What some humans consider “damaged” God considers beautiful! He has created each one of us the way He wanted us!!! I am a nurse who works daily with individuals with DS and they are some of God’s most perfect creations! They radiate Christ’s most important attribute, love, more than any other creation on Earth! To terminate God’s creations for ANY reason deeply saddens our creator! I love seeing Noah’s precious smile and feeling a bit closer to God just by following his precious life! Thanks to your family for your purposeful advocacy!!!!
My 8 y/o daughter has ds, in my eyes she is perfect! Every mother sees her child as perfect it doesn’t matter if the have ds, bratty syndrome, bossy syndrome, EVERY mother sees perfection. It starts with the very second she first holds her baby! So sad that people are too foolish to give their child & themselves a chance to share this love.
My second pregnancy was very interesting. Vi didn’t want yo know if she had ds like my first. I didn’t care! My OB, who was supported my choice did ask that I see a specialist who offered a better sonogram to make sure she didn’t have major heart defects that would require immediate surgery upon birth. I prayed about it and walked into his office fully prepared for some offensive speech about increased genetic risks, quality if life etc. I sat down, looked at him and said, “I already have a daughter with ds whom I love very much, I wouldn’t change a single chromosome on her little body. I don’t want to hear u say the word terminate or degrade a ds diagnosis in any way, I don’t care if this new baby has ds, two heads or purple skin I love her and expect you to respect my love and respect for the life of all unborn children!” Bless his heart, I didn’t know if he was going to cry or hug me! He said they were instructed to discuss alllll options, that he hated doing that and wished all moms had the same love and fight for their unborn child that I did! That it was upsetting to see someone plan for and want a baby, only to turn their love off after a prenatal diagnosis…… Thank God he was a compassionate human being, not a puppet on a medical string selling me an abortion!
Thank you so much for your blog. It’s really impressive and helpful. Most of all, it gives me strength and encouragement. You are a model for DS parents! Btw, Noah is so cute and lovely.
Well… that’s just sad!
I’m brazilian and my wife and I discovered about one month ago that our son Pedro (Peter, in english) has Down.
At the begining it was a very difficult news to receive, no doubt of that. But now we love him more than anything.
Here in Brazil people USUALLY don’t even think in abortion in those kind of situations. Thanks God for that.
I don’t know what I’m capable of if somebody tellls us to abort…
Pedro is still in my wife’s womb and we can’t wait to have him in our hands.
He is gonna be the most loved child ever.
Thanks for the blog.
Best regards.
I just wrote a blog post on this subject. (http://www.shawnandrews.net/the-amazing-things-i-learned-from-my-disabled-sister/) My wife and I have 4 year old triplets, and we were asked many times how many we wanted to “eliminate.” Our answer was always a steadfast NONE. Looking at them now I can’t imagine life without any of them. I weep for the hearts of a nation that would target 92% of a people for extinction.
love this post. I never knew that my son will have DS when I was pregnant with him. Even when I heard the news and confirmed that he indeed has DS, I have never thought of him gone. Though during the first months, I wished that I would wake up the next day and see him to be normal, without DS. I think it is the thought that other parents out there has. Now, I have accepted that the extra chromosome is a part of him and has made him into what he is today – an adorable, lovable toddler that is loved by my whole family.
I am so grateful of the fact that I didn’t know about the fact that my son will be born with DS and was never given the option for abortion. Not that I would have gone that route but at least I never had the burden of deciding whether to abort or not.
That in itself is a small miracle for me. 🙂
I absolutely LOVE Noah and all his exciting adventures… Just getting that out of the way 🙂 … But I went thru every stage of emotions I could have when I found out our son had DS, my doctor suggested that most parents “don’t keep the children because of the hardship and burdens that people with DS face, told me that I’d be better off. Even it came to my mom ” well Amanda what are u going to do?” …what am I going to do?!? I had my beautiful baby boy on april 22, 2013… He’s brought so much life and love into our lives I couldn’t imagine a second with out that Lil bundle of joy…and if anything ladies if u think u can not handle a baby with DS… there are other options than aborting, I even said this with my first son, “if I can not financially/emotionally give this child all he needs…I will give him up for adoption… Let them live … You have no idea the impact on the world they could make … You have no idea what joys they can bring and if not to you then to someone 🙂 GOD DOES NOT GIVE YOU MORE THAN UYOU CAN HANDLE!!!
Blogs like this (and social media in general) offer a huge opportunity to spread awareness of how wonderful our children with DS are. This is the key (along with better training for doctors delivering a prenatal diagnosis) to changing that 92%. Personally, I think the prenatal testing is important…not for making a “decision” but for preparing for the birth of a child who may have advanced medical needs (being at a hospital with a NICU if there are serious heart defects etc). Also, there is a high stillbirth rate for babies with DS, which can be preventable through careful prenatal monitoring. My ideal is to get to a place where people can utilize non-invasive prenatal tests to ensure everyone gets the best care, but then have enough knowledge about DS to make an unexpected diagnosis less scary!!
We did NOT know our Chelsea would be born with ds. We did see a high risk doctor who asked if I wanted further testing but did NOT in any way pressure us to do so. I thank the Lord everyday for him. Our Chelsea was born full term in the same hospital as our daughter Cassady who does not have an extra chromosome. Our girls love each other and both mean the world to us. I would not change one thing about either of them . We are truly blessed .
I love the title of this post–it is so very true, and so very sad. I have had some big wake-up calls this and last week from people on the Termination for Medical Reasons board on Babycenter… I wrote about it here: https://forelysium.wordpress.com/2014/12/09/lives-worth-living/
We can never stop this quest to share our beautiful children with the world.
I have a grandson his name is brinick . Brinick has downs syndrome. I look at that little boy that is two now and see all the love and joy he has brought into our lives. I couldn’t imagine my life without seeing his smile . He brings joy to all people around him He is truly a gift from God . IF YOU ARE THINKING ABOUT GETTING AN ABORTION BECAUSE THEY SAY YOUR BABY HAS DOWN SNYDROME DON’T YOU WILL BE DESTROYING A GIFT FROM GOD. ALL CHILDREN ARE A GIFT FROM GOD .
Hi,
I am a proud mom of my 2 month old baby Thomas who has Down Syndrome. My husband and I are over the moon and back with our blessing. Our story started the day he was born because everything came out fine while I was pregnant. Of course, we were told that all tests were coming out fine and my ultrasounds were normal. The day of his birth we were ask if we have been told that he has down syndrome. ? Well, that was something to take in all at once. Just out of the blue and not a very appropriate way to deliver sensitive news. And yes. …we got concerned because it was a new world for us. Now, we are in love in this beautiful world and we wouldn’t want it any other way. We thank God everyday for this miracle and joy in our lives.
Blessings ,
Angelica
Love this post. Our little miracle just turned 2 in December, we did not know about the ds before his birth and I didn’t have any of the tests b/c terminating my pregnancy was not something that we would have considered, regardless…..We were surprised when he was born and it took a few minutes to comprehend, but we have loved him every bit as much as his 2 “typical” older siblings, and he continues to be “Our little sunshine” I thank God for blessing us with such a special gift <3
When my gynae asked if I wanted to go for an amnio test, my reply was an immediate yes. There was no need to consider at all. My husband asked me what if the results came back positive and I just looked at him and said “need you even ask?”
Some people may say that I am cruel or even pure evil. I have a different take at it. I know people find DS children adorable or even beautiful. I think they are because unlike normal children, they do not have a mean bone in them. But having a DS child will mean the following:
a) my other children will be burdened by having to care for their DS sibling financially, and looking after his daily needs when we passed on. While parents can sacrifice what they have to care for a DS child, imposing such burden on siblings will be unfair to them.
b) no one will want to marry my other children. If anyone has a DS child after making an informed decision, he/she will care for the child. But frankly, given an option, no man/woman with choices around him/her want to marry someone who come with a DS sibling attached. In my society, divorced women with children from previous marriages are unwanted by men who do not want a child to come along. Many call this situation “buy one get one free”. So, having a DS sibling along, my children will be very unattractive in the marriage scene.
c) imagine if my children wanted to further their careers elsewhere and have to give up their career options for the sake of the DS sibling.
d) if my other children are married with their own families, they will be even more financially strapped.
Hi Noah’s Dad!!
I enjoy reading your articles (and I met your wife at NDSC a few years ago). My Jacob is now 6 years old — time flies!! I have also often read the 90% statistic. The first time was when I was pregnant and I cried and cried for the sweet babies. However, later, the medical side of me tried to find the article that goes along with this stat (to no avail). Currently, the statistic that I’m reading is 30%. The study was published in January 2015 with Dr. Skotko as one of the lead investigators and is US based.
The study is at this link:
http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1002/ajmg.a.37001/abstract
Would you kindly consider adding an update to your 2013 article with the newer information?
Amy Julia Becker also wrote about this subject and explains the 90% stat well.
Her article is below:
http://www.christianitytoday.com/amyjuliabecker/2015/april/true-or-false-90-of-babies-with-down-syndrome-are-aborted.html
Thank you for your consideration!!
Thanks so much for your comment, kind words, and helpful links! I linked to the study in the blog post that talks about the termination rates, it’s toward the top of the post.
On a side note, we have never been to NDSC. Are you sure that’s where we meet?
I clicked on the link to this article thinking it was going to talk about why infants with Downs don’t make it to full term for natural reasons. My son was born to heaven May 13, 2010. The only anomalies showing on ultrasound were a missing nasal bone and echogenic focus on the heart and intestinal area. I was told my son had a 90% chance of survival and accepted the fact that God thought we were special enough to have such a special baby, until that day. Autopsy showed nothing, no other reason for his death other than the fact that he had Downs. But he didn’t appear to have any of the other physical problems that a lot of children with Downs have. Anyway, for anyone to terminate these precious angels willingly tears me up. I would give anything to hold my precious boy in my arms and be able to look into his eyes. 🙁
I myself have 2 kids with downs I had my son when I was 18teen didn’t know he had downs till he was born doc tried to get us to put him in a home said it would be to much on us as a young couple I told him I would never do that he is 33yrs old now an a wonderful young man with a caring heart for all he meets then I had 3 girls that were fine no health problems then at 46 I had my last child my youngest was 18teen boy was I shocked when I found out I was having another child each time the doctors would ask if I wanted the test I always told them no cause no matter what that’s my child an I will love it always well like I said I had my little girl at 46 yrs old I named her miracle an yes she has downs but the doctors didn’t even realize it I had to tell them she had it they didn’t believe me till they did test I will say its a lot harder with her than my son cause he learned to walk an talk at 2yrs old an he could pretty much do as other kids for the most part but little miracle is going to be 6 she cant talk or walk crawl or feed herself she still eats baby food cause she has a lot of problems with how food feels she is still taking a bottle but cant hold it so its more like taking care of a new born I’m a single mother now an I have ms but I wouldn’t change her for nothing just to make my life easy cause I believe god made her this way for a reason an I’m her mom cause god knew I could give her all the love she will eve need an for doctors to try an say you shouldn’t carry a baby cause it may have problems is just crazy theres more kids out there who was born with out problems that turn to drugs an crime should doctors say your kid might have social problems when they get older you might want to think about not having them I have meet a lot of kids with downs some drive work jobs even go to collage so don’t let anyone say just cause your kid is going to have downs they will have it hard if you treat them as you would any other kid they can do anything they put their minds too it just might take them longer but they will get there
Our beautiful angel left us 15years ago. SHe was born with downs syndrome. BUt we never let that hinder her. She experienced so many things and brought so much joy to her family and friends and touched many in our community . And when she left us it broke our hearts. Many people attended her funeral and in all their speeches they remembered a amazing person who found good in everyone. SO would i live it again i would say yes she tought me so much about love and life.
My 21 year old daughter got her results today saying her baby has Down syndrome. She will not consider a termination. A big load for a young girl but this precious bundle will be well loved.
Thank you for this!
Five years ago I birthed my first born son after three miscarriages. He was born with Trisomy 18. He really had little hope of any life. They gave him maybe a week to live and wanted us to basically just let him pass quickly. No chance. We were gonna fight for our son just like anyone should fight for every one of their kids regardless of diagnosis. He lived 20 months and got to experience love and cuddles never ending. He literally changed our lives and our friends forever. I could never imagine aborting such a precious gift.
Please continue to tell your story and thank you for the encouragement to start sharing mine even more.
Many blessings!
Faith